Nice Work

April 15, 2007

Nice Work

Alison stood in front her stove, waiting for the pastry cases for the vol-au vents to reach golden perfection before she took them out. While she waited, she beat  some double- thick cream into the cheesecake mixture and put it in the fridge for later.
Then she turned her attention to her feet: which shoes to wear with the blue silk outfit she’d bought for The Interview. Horribly expensive, but the trim little box pleats and belted waist said “serious and career minded.” She decided her old navy heels would do, once she’d polished them.
Ever since she’d seen the advert for a receptionist at the Harcourt Hotel, home- from- home for the rich and famous, she was sure this job was meant for her. She’d made it through the first round of applications and was on a short list of three.
Alison could see her glamorous future rolling out in technicolour:  registering important guests, directing them to their suites and confidently  advising them on the best restaurants in town. ‘Client liaison’ it was called and she knew she’d be good at that..
“I suppose I couldn’t persuade you to join me for dinner?” purred Tom Cruise, leaning enticingly over her reservation book, “Even the perfect receptionist has to eat sometime.”
As she gazed coolly into Tom’s green- flecked eyes he added, ”At a  table for two in a private room?”
It could happen.
The oven pinged obligingly and she removed the fragrant pastry shells,  carefully transferring them to the wire tray to cool. The chopped chicken breasts with ginger and lime sauce stood ready to be spooned in, and as soon as she was back from the interview she planned to take the pastries and cheesecake round to Moira for her dinner party that evening. The mushroom and smoked mussel soup was already in the container and she’d made the lamb curry the evening before, to give the flavours time to meld together deliciously.
She was always surprised that so many of her friends found cooking difficult and were so pathetically grateful for her help.
“Why not go into catering, Alison?” Moira had said, “You’re a natural born cook.”
But she preferred the security of a salary cheque at the end of the month. If she got it right this morning, her days would be spent behind the wide marble front desk of the Harcourt Hotel.
Alison badly needed this job. Five weeks without work was more than she’d bargained for when she’d impulsively resigned from the dry-cleaning shop to follow the sun. Two weeks in Greece had left her with a beautiful tan but a savings account that was running dangerously low.
It was pouring with rain as she set off, and with the pavement under water just outside her gate, she was forced to detour onto the street.  Trying not to wet her shoes, she stepped gingerly across the gutter that was streaming with water.
As she did so, a little red car sped around the corner, straight through a deep puddle and sent up a great whoosh of dirty water. In one icy second, Alison was drenched to the skin. And as she jumped back, her heel caught on something and she sat down hard in the gutter.
This can’t be happening, she thought, scrambling slowly and painfully to her feet. Not today.
“I say, I’m terribly sorry. Are you alright?”
It was the driver of the car, concern written all over his face.
“No, I’m NOT alright,” she snapped furiously, “Thanks to you. How could you go through that puddle as such a speed? Look at me! I’m a disaster!”
The suspicion of a grin increased her fury.
“I’m on my way to an interview. Now I’ve probably lost the best job I was ever going to get.”
“I feel terrible about this,” he said sincerely, helping her up.  “The least I can do is take you home to get a change of clothes.”
She scowled.
“I haven’t got a change of clothes. This is my interview outfit you – you idiot. I can’t apply for a job at the Harcourt Hotel in a pair of jeans!”
“The Harcourt? That’s a coincidence; I work in the kitchen there.  What’s the interview for?”
“It was for receptionist” she said pointedly. “But now you’ve totally ruined my chances, you- you dish-washer.”
His mouth twitched.
“Oh, that’s right, I heard they were looking for someone. Look, I know the hotel housekeeper, and she could dry everything and have you looking good as new.”
“How? My dress is filthy and wet, and my hair…”
“Jump in,” he said firmly, opening the passenger door. “Mrs Nichols can work miracles.”
She glared at him.
“I don’t even know your name.”
“Sorry.” He held out his hand, which was surprisingly firm and warm.
”Rick Williams.”
“Alison Andrews.”
She sank squishily into the front seat.
“Look on the bright side,” said Rick, “You’re very lucky I didn’t run you over.”
Alison cheered up and looked critically at her driver. He had  a thin, humorous face and a gold earring gleamed under his dark hair which curled over his collar and  added to his slightly raffish look.. Maybe I was lucky after all, she thought, I’ll definitely get to know him better when I’m working there. On the other hand – front office personnel and the kitchen staff? They might not allow it.
Rick ignored the splendid curving drive up to the pillared entrance of the Harcourt Hotel and parked around the back.
“Staff entrance,” he smiled. “Not quite as grand, is it?”
It certainly wasn’t. The lobby smelled of wet boots and badly need a coat of paint. From a room off to the left came a crashing of pots and impatient, raised voices.
“The kitchen,” he explained, ”Things get a bit hectic here at this time of day, they’re just preparing lunch.”
Lured by the smell of rosemary and something else she couldn’t quite identify, Alison peered around the door.  About ten men with white coats and funny hats, intent on stirring and chopping, didn’t look up from their work.
“Venison for lunch?” she enquired, sniffing appreciatively.
“Right.” Rick stared. “You’ve got a good nose.”
“Venison with rosemary sauce- Nigella Lawson!” she exclaimed.
“Clement Freud, actually.”
“Ah, but she took it from his book on Irish cuisine and changed it a lot.  Put in the juniper berries and used a lot more wine. It’s the sauce that makes that dish, don’t you think?”
She grinned at his puzzled face.
“I like to cook.” she said simply, “Now, where’s that miracle worker of yours?”
He led Alison through a maze of dark, narrow passages to the small housekeeper’s room on the first floor, where a motherly person was counting towels..
“Mrs Nichols, my friend Alison needs some help,” said Rick. “She’s a bit wet.”
“Caught in a shower, were you dear? Might take more than a miracle, but let’s see what we can do,” said Mrs Nichols, heaving herself off the stool. “Off you go, Mr Williams.”
Alison wrapped herself in a bath towel, watching as Mrs Nichols sponged and ironed her skirt and top. She rubbed her hair dry in front of a heater and started to relax. She still had five minutes before her interview.
“Got a special date, have you dear?”
“I’m applying for the job as receptionist here,” said Alison.
“That’s nice. If you can handle those demanding guests.”
“I’ll manage,” she said, thinking of Hugh Grant walking up to her desk, looking lost, needing her help. Hugh Grant, demanding? Never. “Is my skirt dry yet, do you think?”
“It’ll do,” said Mrs Nichols, “I’ve got most of the mud off. And this little tear at the back won’t show at all.”
“You’re a darling, thank you so much. Now, how do I get to the manager’s office?”
“Turn left at the end of the passage, and through the glass door,” said Mrs Nichols. “Good luck.”
Alison fingered her lucky rabbits foot nestling inside her bag.  “I’ll be okay,” she said confidently.
There was no mirror in the housekeeper’s room, but she dressed hurriedly, twisted her hair into a knot on top and hoped for the best.
The Harcourt Hotel she recognised started on the other side of the glass door. A thick blue carpet paved the way across the foyer to the marble-topped reception desk, where a smartly dressed woman was seated.
As Alison approached, she looked up and her bland expression changed to one of distaste.
“Yes? Can I help you?” her icy voice had undercurrents of  however,  I doubt it.
“I have an appointment with Mr Adams, the manager. Um..about the job.”
Get a grip, girl, where’s your confidence, she thought crossly. . Then she caught sight of her reflection in a big gold-framed mirror and clutched the edge of the desk in horror.
Her blue skirt, which had seemed so right that morning, no longer said ‘serious and career minded’. It had shrunk so badly it now screamed ‘cheap and nasty’ and the polka- dot top cheekily bared her beautifully tanned midriff for all to see. The cute little navel ring that had seemed such fun on the beach at Rhodos  twinkled maliciously. Not the Harcourt Hotel style at all.
“I – it’s all right, I’ll phone him later,” mumbled Alison, and she turned and dashed blindly back through the glass doors to the staff quarters
She took her treacherous rabbit’s foot out of her bag and hurled it angrily into the corner, then took a deep breath and re-traced her steps down the passage. She was about to walk past the kitchen when Rick appeared.
“That was quick,” he said,”How’d it go?”
“It didn’t. I’m out of here.” She yanked angrily at her skirt. “How could I possibly see the manager looking like this?”
“That’s a very fetching frill,” he grinned. “Old man Adams would have loved it. But I take your point. Look, at the very least, I owe you a coffee and I’d like a word with you.”
He took her arm and led her into a small sitting room furnished with comfy old arms chairs.
“Staff lounge, “ he said “And quite good coffee.”
She sat down while Rick poured them each a cup.
“Shouldn’t you be toiling in the kitchen?” she snapped.
“Oh, I’m allowed a minute or two off,” he smiled. “Tell me, wouldn’t you rather be cooking than listening to complaints all day long?”
“Yes, of course, but there’s the small matter of the rent.”
“Okay, now don’t think I’m crazy, but what sauce would you use if you were preparing whiting?”
“I’d try a Maltaise,” she answered promptly. “But I’d use fresh Seville orange juice instead of lemon. It’s subtler and works wonderfully with whiting.”
“And what would you do to cheer up roast lamb?”
“A sauce? Not boring old mint. Okay, so let’s say you’ve roasted it with lashings of fresh rosemary and slivers of garlic…hmm, maybe a caper sauce? With that flat-leafed parsley and loads of black pepper. And stir in some thick cream just before you serve it.”
She swallowed hungrily. Breakfast seemed a long time ago. “Why do you ask?”
“You want a job, right? And you obviously know your way around a kitchen. How would you like to start as assistant to the saucier here?”
“The what?”
“He’s the chef who makes the sauces. Monsieur  Reynard. He’s nearly seventy  and desperately needs an assistant. I think you’d be very good. You’re creative.”
Alison stared at Rick. Tom Cruise wasn’t ever going to find his way down that gloomy passage. On the other hand, working with this totally gorgeous man every day could have its attractions. And she did love to cook.
“Great perks, too,” he added. “Good staff lunches. On-the-job training from one of the best sauciers in the country. You can wear jeans to work every day if you want, although with legs like yours, that’d be a crime.”
“Cheeky. So what are you, then? You don’t wash dishes.”
“I never said I did. I’m the Executive Chef. So I do the hiring and I think you’d be just what I’m looking for.”
Exactly what I was thinking about you, she thought, then blushed crimson in case he could read her mind.
“You’d be my boss?”
“Not exactly, you’d be answerable to Monsieur Reynard. I don’t interfere in his department.”
Yessss! She thought, looking into his deep brown eyes with a little shiver of anticipation. Dating the boss is never a good idea.


What every gardener knows

April 15, 2007

“Do you remember old Mr Patterson next door?” Angela Morrison asked her daughter when she popped round on Friday for her usual cup of coffee, “Well, he’s moved away to live with his son. And the strangest young couple have taken the house.”

“Strange how?” smiled Diane. “Rings through their noses?”

“Actually, I think there might be,” said her mother seriously. “The girl’s face sort of glints when you look at her from a distance. And they both wear black all the time. Perhaps they’re in mourning for someone. Of course, I haven’t actually talked either of them yet, they only moved in on Monday.”

“Let’s hope they’re better neighbours than Mr Patterson,” commented Diane. “He really let his garden turn into a jungle.”

“Well, he was over eighty,” said Angela, “But I don’t think this lot look like gardeners either.”

But she was pleasantly surprised to find how wrong she was.

The following day, as she was hanging out the washing, the girl in black came down her kitchen steps and walked over to the fence.

“Good morning,” she said, “I’m Zara Andrews. And that over there is my partner, Spike Nash.”

Spike, expressionless in studded black leather and biker boots, gave her a half wave from behind the motorbike he was polishing.

“Pleased to meet you, dear,” said the older woman, “I’m Angela Morrison.”

She looked with undisguised interest at Zara whose long black hair was secured with a red comb, the only touch of colour she allowed. Eyes thickly lined with black, a long black cotton dress and shiny black nail polish. Good heavens, she even wore black lipstick. And not one ring, but three, through her nostril. How very different, thought Angela. How interesting.

“You have a pretty garden,” said Zara, standing on tiptoes and looking over at the neat lawn edged with bright flowers. “Spike and I want to start planting too, once we’ve cleared this mess.”

“Oh good,” said Angela, relieved. “The previous tenant was too old to do much any more, he let it become quite wild.”

“Once we’ve cleared it, we want to prepare the soil properly for planting. I think you’re supposed to dig in compost and manure. That right?”

Angela was impressed at how eager she was to learn. Zara might look like a sinister creature of the night, but Angela warmed to her. Any girl who was interested in gardening had her heart in the right place, and deserved encouragement.

“I know a farmer who supplies well rotted manure,” she said. “I’ll ask him to bring you a load, shall I? That soil of yours will need quite a bit of help, I should think.”

“Thank you,” said Zara, “We do want to make a success of this. We’ve never grown anything before.”

Angela was pleased to see they set about clearing the ground that very weekend. Spike removed his black leather jacket, revealing a well developed chest beneath a black vest emblazoned with a red skull and crossbones. His well-muscled arms sported several striking tattoos which at first alarmed Angela but then quite fascinated her, the snakes rippling and dipping as he worked. He was busy all afternoon, chopping the overgrown shrubs and trees and leaving a large sunny patch of earth. Zara dug and cleared, raking the weeds into piles for burning.

Angela watched from her kitchen window as they stopped in their labours, sat on the back steps and lit up cigarettes.

She pursed her lips. What a pity so many young people smoked, she thought, so bad for their health. But they seemed full of energy so it obviously hadn’t affected their lungs yet. Sitting on the steps, dressed all in black, they looked like two undertakers, although Angela was sure an undertaker wouldn’t have his hair glued into stiff daggers like Spike.

When the manure was delivered, Spike dug it over and he and Zara marked out long straight rows with two sticks and a piece of string that stretched right across the garden. Ah, vegetables, thought Angela, that’s sensible. She hurried out of her kitchen and spoke across the fence.

“Zara, dear, you’d be better off if you made the rows a little shorter and put a path between,” she said helpfully. “That way you can weed more easily.”

Spike looked up and spoke to her for the first time.

“Waste of valuable growing space,” he said shortly, and carried on.

Angela pursed her lips. They’d see their mistake when their seedlings started to sprout and they wanted to thin them out. Well, they couldn’t say she hadn’t warned them.

But the seedlings, when they grew, seemed not to need thinning out and grew strong and healthy. Zara could often be seen throwing handfuls of fertilizer amongst the plants and she watered them attentively twice a day.

“And how’s your garden coming along?” Angela had met Zara by chance in the supermarket. “It all looks very green and healthy. Growing vegetables, are you? I can’t really tell without my glasses.”

“Yes,” said Zara.

“With the price of greens today, I’m not surprised,” said Angela. “Look what I had to pay for this bunch of spinach. Criminal. I’ve never gone in for vegetables, myself, but I can see why you do. You’ll be able to sell some too, I shouldn’t wonder.”

Zara smiled. “We’d certainly like to. If frost doesn’t kill the whole lot. Spike’s dad was a farmer and he says frost can ruin your crops.”

“No fear of that here at the coast, dear,” said Angela, “But you’ll have to watch out for downy mildew. Or red spider. White fly can be a killer too and of course the American bollworm.”

Zara grimaced. “That sounds awful! How do we prevent all those nasty things?”

“You spray,” said Angela firmly. “You mix pesticides and fungicides with water and spray you vegetables at least once a week.”

“We couldn’t do that,” said Zara, “We’re organic. Spike would never spray poison on anything.”

“Well dear, you could easily find all your hard work just wiped out overnight,” warned Angela. “I’ve been a gardener for forty years and I’ve had some real disappointments, what with insects and disease . Not to mention snails.”

“There’s so much I don’t know about gardening. It’s a lot of work, isn’t it?”

“But worth it in the end,” encouraged Angela.

“I hope it will be,” said Zara. “We’ve invested a lot of time in our garden.”

Angela didn’t consider herself a nosy parker but she did like to know.

“What does your Spike do, dear?” she asked. “Unemployed at the moment, is he?”

“Oh, no, not really,” said Zara vaguely. “Spike’s self- employed, he sells stuff. You could call him an entrepeneur.”

“That’s nice,” said Angela, unpacking her basket at the checkout. “Well, see you soon.”

The cashier stared after Zara in disapproval as she left the shop. Her usual black dress had been enhanced by the addition of dangling jet earrings and a long black lacy over- garment, rather torn in places.

“You know her, Mrs Morrison?” she asked incredulously. “Dracula’s sister, we call her.”

“She’s my neighbour,” said Angela crisply, “And one should never judge a book by its cover. Although she may not look it, that young lady is a very keen gardener and she’s quite improved the look of the house next to mine.”

“You don’t say,” said the cashier dubiously. “Doesn’t look the suburban type, somehow.”

Angela sniffed. She prided herself that she was open- minded and able to appreciate the good qualities in the young people of today. Even if they didn’t look suburban.

“So how are you getting on with that couple next door?” Diane sat in her mother’s kitchen, eating homemade gingerbread and wondering if she would be given some to take home.

“They’re really rather nice,” said Angela. “Keen gardeners. They’re out there watering their plants twice a day. Surprising, because they look so odd, but as my father used to say, any man with soil under his nails must have some good in his soul. Although it’s the girl who does most of the weeding and so on.”

Diane stood up and glanced across at the next-door garden. She stiffened, then her shoulders started to shake and her mother flinched as she exploded into shrieks of laughter.

“Mum, you are priceless,” she gasped. “Don’t you see what they’re growing over there?”

“Vegetables of some sort,” said Angela uncertainly.

“Your keen gardeners are growing a healthy crop of marijuana!” she giggled, wiping her eyes. “Grass. Cannabis. Indian hemp.”

Drugs?”

“No wonder they’re working so hard! Those plants of theirs must be worth a fortune.”

“They’re drug dealers?” Angela was horrified and then filled with a white-hot rage at the perfidy of her neighbours. To think that drug dealers should take up residence in Canterbury Close and pursue their terrible trade under her very nose.

She would see about that.

The next day she walked down to the gardening shop and made a large purchase. Expensive, but worth it, she thought grimly. That afternoon she called to Zara over the fence.

“Zara, dear, have you noticed that you have Australian creep- worm? Rather a bad case of it too, from what I can see.”

“What? Where?” Zara spun round in dismay and surveyed her flourishing crop. “I can’t see anything.”

“Not called creep- worm for nothing,” said Angela sombrely. “They’re very tiny, but I saw several early this morning. They disappear just as the sun rises so you and Spike might not have spotted them.”

“I’ve never heard of Australian creep-worm,” she said anxiously. “Is this serious?”

“Oh yes, dear. They’re the foot-and-mouth of the vegetable world! Creep-worms attack from inside the stalks and the first thing you know, your plant topples over, quite dead. And completely toxic, of course. There was that awful case of some market- gardeners in Knysna who sold their infected produce and everyone who ate their lettuce became completely paralysed afterwards. Cost them a fortune in compensation.”

Angela was enjoying herself.

Zara started to sweat. “Isn’t there a cure?” she asked piteously, “A spray of some sort?”

“Of course there is, dear, “ said Angela, “I always have some handy. But as it’s a pesticide, maybe Spike wouldn’t want to use it?”

“He will, he will! Please, let me have some right away and I’ll replace it for you tomorrow.”

“It’s very strong,” warned Angela. “And it’s a systemic poison so it needs watering in very well.”

“I’ll be sure to do it,” said Zara. The poor girl looked almost haggard with anxiety.

Angela watched her neighbour spraying the bright green plants, dousing both sides of the five -pointed leaves.

“I must warn you dear, if those Australian creep- worms have taken hold, you might not be in time to prevent the damage. You’ll know tomorrow.”

“I’m sure it will be fine,” said Zara confidently. “I’ve really sprayed them thoroughly.”

“Of course, if those plants die, you’ll have to burn the whole lot, you know that, don’t you? The Domestic Agricultural Inspectors’ll prosecute anyone found with creep- worm. They’re terribly strict, especially after Mad Cow disease.”

Zara nodded, round-eyed. Really, the girl’s ignorance was almost pathetic.

That evening she and Spike walked out and looked at their garden in the moonlight. Angela could hear them muttering anxiously. We’ll see tomorrow, indeed, she thought.

She was woken by a primal, savage scream coming from deep within Spike’s tattooed throat, and peered nervously from her bedroom window.

He stood amongst the brown and rotted corpses of his marijuana plants with tears running down his eyes. Zara was hurriedly pulling them out and raking them into a pile. Angela heard the hissed warning “Prosecuted ” and Spike joined her in clearing the garden, emitting guttural noises of disappointment and rage.

Feeling almost guilty, she remembered the empty bottles of Broad Spectrum Weed Killer in her garden shed and threw them in the bin.

It wouldn’t do for her young neighbours to see them, nor the instructions: “Take care to dilute one part weed killer to 100 parts water before spraying

As every gardener knows, undiluted weed killer is pretty powerful stuff.


Close to Nature

April 14, 2007

Clara-Moon was three years old before she realised that she should have a father somewhere. Her mother Lucilla had never referred to him, and spoke of men in such withering tones that she sensed that any question about him would rebound badly in some way.

“We don’t need any man to help us, do we, Clara-Moon,” her mother would say, as together they hoed and weeded the vegetable garden on their farm just outside the town. “We’re self-sufficient. That means, we grow everything for ourselves. Aren’t you glad we don’t have to go to the shop to buy nasty tinned food like other people?”

Lucilla, committed to being at one with the Earth, passionately renounced anything that smacked of convenience. She milked the cow, she hoed the soil, and scrubbed the clothes with soap she made herself from soda, ash and mutton fat. She didn’t just weave the cloth from which she made their clothes, she sheared the sheep herself, spun the wool and dyed it with tea. Clara’s badly-fitting garments, in dingy shades of brown, satisfied Lucilla, who believed that only natural, organic products should touch her daughter’s skin. Clara- Moon, scratching at the coarse weave, wasn’t so sure.

Her mother had ripped out the electricity when she came to live on the farm and with no radio, music or television, Clara-Moon learned to read at an early age. During the long evenings, while her mother wove lengths of cloth or knitted lumpy sweaters from home spun wool, she would read aloud from a catholic collection of books provided by her mother: legends and fairy stories, botanic texts, Enid Blyton adventures and women’s literature.

Once, impressed by the fun everyone had in The Third Form at Mallory Towers, she asked, “Why can’t I go to school too, Mother?”

“Because they’d fill your head with a lot of rubbish, “ answered Lucilla shortly. “You’re home-schooled and much the better for it.”

Lucilla was a vegetarian and so, of course, was Clara-Moon. They ate eggs, but when the hen died of old age, Lucilla would bury the carcase under the steaming compost heap.

“Good nutrients are returning to the earth,” she’d say, and it never occurred to Clara-Moon that other people might actually cook and eat the fowl. Lucilla did not consider cooking a skill worth mastering and her daughter was accustomed to wildly differing meals, depending on what was in season. Her mother served piles of spinach, platefuls of carrots or boiled onions and Clara-Moon ate these uncritically until she was old enough to enjoy experimenting. Then she discovered herbs that vastly improved plain boiled fare and started growing her own coriander, oregano, and mint for flavouring.

Meal times, such as they were, were spent improving her grasp of Lucilla’s favourite subject: the Rhythm of Life. Every sprouting seed or wandering insect was an opportunity to teach her daughter something meaningful about the wonders of nature. Before she could write her name, Clara-Moon knew all about the usefulness of dung-beetles and the symbiotic relationship between aphids and ants.

Lucilla rejected story-books in which the animals talked or wore clothes, but encouraged her daughter to read from National Geographic, discussing the pictures.

“This is real life, far more meaningful,” she said, “See this thin old lion all by himself? He’s been chased out of the pride by a younger male and he’s probably going to starve to death because he’s almost toothless.”

Clara-Moon shuddered. “I don’t like animals like that, they’re cruel.”

“Nonsense, that’s simply nature,” said Lucilla briskly, picking up the compost bucket and leading the way outside, “It’s called survival of the fittest. If people could also die when they had outlived their usefulness, we’d all be better off.”

“But people might enjoy being old,” muttered Clara-Moon.

“Look at this stalk, sweetie,” said Lucilla, ignoring her. “See the green insects on it? Clever old Nature has disguised them so birds won’t see them and eat them. They’re called Praying Mantis.”

“What’s that Praying Mantis doing?” asked Clara-Moon curiously. “It’s climbing on top of the other one.”

“He’s mating with the female Mantis,” said Lucilla, glad of the opportunity to introduce the facts of life, given the absence of a bull on the farm. “He’s fertilising tiny eggs inside her. Soon she’ll lay those eggs and later a whole lot of baby Praying Mantis will hatch out.”

“Now what’s she doing?” Clara-Moon peered closer. “She’s chewing his head off! Mother! Stop her!”

“He’s served his purpose,” said Lucilla calmly, “She needed a male to fertilise her eggs and now he’s no use to her any more. I expect her body needs the protein.”

“Oh.”

At five years old, Clara-Moon was a thoughtful child. That night, before her mother blew out the lamp, she asked, “Mother, which male did you mate with to get me?”

Lucilla smiled at her fondly.

“He was just a man who seemed right at the time. When we mated- only with people we call it having sex – we lay on the sweet-smelling hay outside the barn with the beautiful light of a full moon shining down on us. That’s why you’re called Clara-Moon. Clara means pure and the moon that night was wonderfully bright.”

“So where is he now? My father? ” Clara-Moon savoured the word. She loved the legends of King Arthur and pictured a smiling man with long golden hair, his silvery-white horse whinnying and stamping its hooves in the moonlight.

“He wasn’t someone I needed to have around, and you wouldn’t have liked him at all – he drove a noisy motor bike and had horrible black hair on his arms. But he was young and very … vigorous.”

Her mother sighed nostalgically at the recollection.

That night Clara-Moon had a nightmare for the first time in her life. In it, her mother reared up from the haystack and bit off a man’s head, ripping at the flesh and snorting in satisfaction as blood streamed from her mouth. Her eyes turned into little black faceted mirrors as she brayed, “ The protein is good for me.”

Clara-Moon woke up screaming.

***

Until she was fourteen, life for Clara-Moon went on according to the rhythms of the seasons: planting, weeding and harvesting. A small, unsmiling girl with pale skin and fine blond hair that belied her strength, she was nervous of strangers and spent her free time reading or making finely observed drawings of insects.

Lucilla, whose hair was streaked with grey, had grown gaunt and stringy with the harsh outdoor work and had started muttering to herself as she worked. For the essentials the farm could not provide, she cycled infrequently down the hill into town, returning with paraffin, matches or sugar and primed with scathing comments about the teenagers she saw there.

“Such terrible music they play, and so loud! And the clothes some of them wear – they’re practically naked. Thank heavens you’re not an ordinary person, my darling.”

Clara-Moon wondered what it would be like to be an ordinary person. She was vaguely aware that her upbringing had been somewhat different to others but she was quite content with her life so far. She knew she would have to leave the farm one day and study something, probably botany, although Lucilla said she already knew as much as was useful.

But one day the Ventersdorp Education Officer, red-faced and officious, arrived unannounced at the farm, his little blue sedan braking to a stop outside the house in a cloud of dust.

He and Lucilla exchanged loud and angry words behind the closed door of the dining room. When he departed, revving his engine triumphantly, Lucilla was flushed with rage and holding an official document in her shaking hand.

“My poor baby, you have to go to school I’m afraid, ” she said tremulously. “Or they’ll send me to jail. But it’s only for two years. You’re allowed to leave when you’re sixteen.”

Clara-Moon’s heart leapt with excitement but she tried to look as miserable as her mother seemed to expect. Mallory Towers still had a strong appeal.

It didn’t take longer than a day at school for Clara-Moon to realise she could just as well have been living on another planet for fourteen years.

She knew nothing at all about the essentials: pop groups, films and fashions and when she spoke she didn’t use the slang of the other confident, noisy teenagers. In the Enid Blyton books she’d read, the girls said things like ripping and I say, what fun! But when she innocently used these phrases they snorted with laughter and chanted “Clara –Loony! Clara-Moony!”

But in any case she was automatically banished to the outer edges of school society because she was the daughter of that crazy woman who cycled around town on an ancient bicycle and shouted at people. With a growing resentment towards her mother’s oddities festering inside her, Clara- Moon resigned herself to two years of hell.

It was while she was sitting silently in the furthest corner of the playground, eating a sliced turnip sandwich and studying a column of red ants, that Flippie approached her, drawn by her fine blonde hair and air of calm. His father was the town drunk and Flippie, three years older than Clara but a fellow-outcast, sported a shaved head and several defiant tattoos to show he didn’t care. He was tall and well built and Clara, who had dropped the Moon after the first day, fell instantly in love with him.

“Whatja doing after school?” he mumbled.

“Nothing.”

“Wanta come with me for a burger ‘n coke?”

Clara knew this was the first step on the road to hell, but it was the only offer of friendship she’d had, and she wasn’t going to refuse.

“That would be ripping.”

“You speak funny, you know that?”

As they approached the Burger Shack the smell that wafted out to Clara made her almost sick with desire. So this was meat.

When the hamburger arrived, adorned with fried onions, it tasted as good as it smelled, and although the coke was unpleasantly fizzy, Clara felt this meal had somehow ordained her into a higher level of the human race. She realised exactly why other people were meat-eaters and felt a sudden rush of pure rage against her mother who had denied her this basic pleasure of life for so long.

“Good stuff, hey?’ mumbled Flippie with his mouth full.

“Yeah, too right.” Clara was happily picking up the slang.

Before the first month was out, Lucilla knew that her worst fears had come true. The dross of the middle classes, with whom she was forced to mix, was polluting Clara-Moon’s mind. Lucilla noticed with alarm that money was missing from her purse. ( Clara couldn’t rely on Flippie to buy her a hamburger every afternoon and she needed money to feed her new addiction). Her conversation had started to include incomprehensible phrases and daily, she became more of a stranger to her mother.

Lucilla consoled herself by adopting a small white-haired dog, the first on the farm. Until now, every animal had been expected to earn its keep by providing wool, milk or eggs, but aware that she had somehow lost Clara-Moon’s uncritical affection, she allowed herself this single fluffy indulgence. Muffy followed her everywhere, jumping onto her lap as soon as she sat down and sleeping on her bed.

Clara disliked this yapping little animal and the feeling was mutual. Muffy, sensing her hostility, snarled under her breath and cowered whenever Clara came near.

“You never let me have a dog, mother,” Clara said coldly, “You said they were no practical use, remember?”

Lucilla looked at her in silent reproach, stroking Muffy’s white curls.

“I need someone to talk to,” she said pointedly, but Clara slammed the door of her room.

One afternoon, Clara invited Flippie back to the farm. Lucilla was in town, and they wandered about hand-in-hand picking late strawberries and blackberries. Flippie was fascinated with the barn and all the rusty farm implements standing unused.

“Check the wheels on this old tractor!” he exclaimed admiringly, entranced by machinery of any kind. He was saving up for a motorbike. “Hey, what’s this?”

He’d spotted a large wooden cover on the floor of the barn and lifted it up.

“Cool, looks like a proper inspection pit for servicing a car.”

They peered down into the darkness. Lying on its side was a red motorbike, the keys still in the lock.

“A Harley Davidson!” breathed Flippie.

Clara felt a sickening jolt in the pit of her stomach. She knew instantly whose motorbike this was and backed away from the pit, feeling slightly faint.

“Give me a hand, let’s see if we can get this out. There’s a block and tackle here.” Flippie was flushed with excitement. “Jeez, what a find! I wonder whose it was? Ours now, I reckon.”

Together, with great difficulty, they lifted it. Clara wasn’t really surprised to see a crushed skull and a scattering of yellowed bones on the floor of the pit.

“Hey, the poor bugger must have fallen off his bike. Long ago though, I reckon this model’s at least twenty years old.”

She made no reply, staring down at the bones as if in a trance.

“I bet this could still go,” muttered Flippie, ignoring the skeleton, insignificant in the face of the bike’s dusty magnificence. “I could fix it up.”

“Okay, take the bike and try to get it going at your house. Just don’t let my mother see you.”

“Then we can go places, baby!” Flippie grinned. “You ever been to Durban?”

“No, but that’d be cool. You fix the bike and we’ll go!”

When he’d left, slowly pushing the heavy machine, Clara shovelled sand over the bones. She felt she owed her father some sort of burial so went outside and picked some lemon blossom, which she scattered into the pit.

That night she glowered across the table without speaking, watching in revulsion as her mother slowly masticated her food, making small wet noises of satisfaction. Lately she’d started to chew very slowly as she’d lost several of her teeth, making her look like an old woman.

A couple of weeks later, Flippie looked for her after school and said, “All fixed up. You still on for Durban?”

“Yes, of course.” Clara thought quickly. “Come out to the farm for supper this evening. There’s a full moon – we can drive through the night.”

“Dead romantic, you are.”

Lucilla was picking beans when Clara got home, her faded homespun dress hanging loosely over her scrawny frame. Lucilla hadn’t been well for some time but refused to think of a doctor, preferring to dose herself with a concoction of herbs.

“I know you killed my father,” said Clara quietly. “I found his motor bike. And his bones. In the garage.”

“Well, that’s ancient history.” Lucilla seemed genuinely puzzled at her concern. “ I told you, we didn’t need him. His was a very unenlightened soul.”

With both hands, Clara reached for her mother’s throat and with surprisingly little effort, snapped her neck. Lucilla’s last coherent thought was how like her father she looked and wished she could remember his name.

“Well, mother, what did you expect?” Clara giggled slightly hysterically at the inert form at her feet, “You’ve served your purpose.”

She dragged the body across the yard to the compost heap, forked it to one side and pushed her mother underneath. Then she shovelled the muck on top, estimating it would take several months for the nutrients to be absorbed.

As she did so, she heard a whimper of distress behind her. There was only one practical way to deal with Muffy and although he tried to escape, Clara was too quick for him.

Flippie arrived as the sun was setting, heralded by the throaty roar of the Harley Davidson. There was a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. .

“All set?” He was dressed in black leather and a nazi-style helmet sat aggressively on his shaven head.

“Let’s just have a quick supper first,” said Clara, ladling the stew onto two plates.

“Is your Ma okay about this trip?”

“She’s cool.”

Well, actually she’s considerably warmer now than she was this morning, thought Clara, smiling to herself. She felt light as air and delightfully free. Flippie grinned happily and picked some small bones from the stew, placing them neatly on the side of his plate.

“Not just a pretty face, you can cook too, hey?”

“Never mind the compliments, finish up and let’s go,” she said.


Make me an offer

April 14, 2007

“They really knew how to make things in those days, didn’t they? Look at the workmanship.”

The tall slim man in a well- cut suit gave Marianne a warm smile as he ran his hand appreciatively over the satiny finish of the Victorian jewellery box on her market stall.

Brown eyes, blond hair and loads of sex appeal. Devastating, thought Marian.

She’d spotted him immediately he’d paused to look, but she knew how annoying it was to be badgered with offers of help so she’d busied herself polishing a silver cake server until he spoke, or moved on.

“Victorian, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s rosewood. Did you spot the secret compartment at the bottom?” She leant over to show him how to press the little ivory button and laughed at his surprise when the small drawer slid out.

“Just the place for secret love letters,” she said..

“That’s amazing. How can you bear to part with it?” His look was teasing. “No, don’t answer that. I’ll take it.”

He’s right! How can I bear to sell this? Marianne thought with a sudden pang, although her flat was already filled with things she’d bought and couldn’t bring herself to re-sell. After finding the jewellery box at a car boot sale, she’d spent hours polishing the wood to a deep gleaming perfection and cleaning the brass fittings with lemon juice. But a small sensible voice said: Be strong, girl, you’ve got to pay the rent as well as eat. So she just shrugged and smiled at him.

“Everything you see is for sale. Make me an offer”

“My lucky day, then.”

She decided to fish a little as she wrapped the box.

“This is really more a woman’s thing isn’t it? A jewellery box?”

He grinned.

“It’s a surprise gift for my fiancée. She’s going to love it.”

Marianne felt ridiculously disappointed. Of course he was spoken for, no one this fabulous would be walking around unattached.

“ We’re getting married one of these days,” he continued, “So I’m having a great time at auction rooms and car boot sales.”

“Lucky you! Have you found anything good?”

“Sure. So far I’ve bought a beautiful silk Chinese rug, very old, and an Edwardian screen …that was a lucky find. And some wonderful antique silver fish knives and forks.”

Marianne grinned at him. These didn’t sound very practical, but probably his fiancée also loved old and beautiful things. It was too bad that the first man she’d met who shared her passion for antiques belonged to somebody else.

“And your fiancée? Does she like shopping at markets too?”

“Julie? Oh she’s happy with anything I buy. She’s not fussy.”

“I hope she’ll like this box,” she said wistfully.

“She’s going to love it, I know,” he smiled.

He’s so nice, she thought. Julie’s a lucky girl. Well, at least my box is going to a good home.

“By the way,” he went on, “My name’s Mike McLeod.”

“I’m Marianne Allan.”

“Well, Marianne, I’ll come by again next week and see what other treasures you have for me,” he promised.

******

“So, how’s it going?” Her sister Sue appeared at the stall, carrying two steaming cups of coffee. “You look as if you could use one of these.”

“Oh, thanks, just what I need.” Marianne sat down gratefully on an upturned box. “I’m doing well, so far. It’s only half way through the month and I’ve already covered my rent.”

“That’s great. Leaving that job at the hamburger joint and opening your own stall was the best idea you’ve had in a long time. I love your new hat, by the way. Reminds me of a drunken tea cosy with peacock feathers on it.”

Marianne patted her head in satisfaction. “I found this at that school fete last week. It’s genuine 1920- don’t you think it suits me?”

“Yes. Very cute. They would have had a fit if you’d come to work in that three months ago.”

“I can’t believe I wasted so much time doing a job I loathed,” sighed Marianne, “Do you realise my profit on that box I just sold is more than I earned for six days hard slog at that awful place? Mind you, I overcharged him shamelessly.”

“Did you sell that Victorian jewellery box? Oh, Marianne, I am sorry!” Sue knew how hard it had been for her to part with it. “Who bought it?”

“A really dishy fellow, actually, the nicest guy I’ve met for ages. And great taste too – he collects old stuff and he said he’s be back next week.”

“Oho.” Sue raised her eyebrows, “Sounds promising!”

“He is, but he’s promised to another, so don’t get excited. But he could become a good customer.”

Marianne couldn’t get Mike McLeod out of her mind all week, and when she bought an intricately carved fire screen on the White Elephant stall at a church fete she knew he’d like it as much as she did. She was right.

“Hey, this is great. Perfect.” Mike appeared just after lunch the following Friday. “You’ve got a good eye, you know. This is eighteenth century and the carving is beautiful. I’ll take it.”

“You don’t mind about the crack?”

“Of course not. Adds to the character.” He didn’t bat an eye when she told him the price.

“I hope your fiancée will approve,” she said as he counted out the money, “Do you have a nice cosy fireplace?” Marianne could picture him with his long legs stretched towards the warmth, a friendly dog at his feet. And herself on the sofa beside him. Stop it, stupid!

“Not yet, but I hope to have one day.” Mike looked a bit uncomfortable. “Actually, Julie’s been dropping hints about a stainless steel coffee maker. But I’m sure she’d rather have this.”

Marianne didn’t think that someone who wanted a stainless steel coffee maker would prefer a cracked fire screen, no matter how beautifully it was carved.

From then on, every time she bought something she thought Mike would like, she put it aside for him. He came to the market every Friday after the lunchtime rush, bringing sandwiches and coffee which they shared sitting on milk crates behind her stall. Once he’d inspected her latest find, and paid for it, he’d linger on to talk until she started to pack up for the day.

Marianne found herself looking forward to his visits far too much. Remember he’s engaged, she told herself, while they chatted easily about everything under the sun, he’s just filling in time instead of going back to his office.

“Don’t you have any work to go to?” she teased one afternoon. “Are you one of these executives that takes a three hour lunch?”

“I’m sure they get along just fine without me. You know, I envy you, working with something that interests you.”

“Yes, starting this stall was the best thing I’ve ever done. I love it.”

He paused, looking into the distance. “Doing something you love is pretty important, isn’t it.”

“It’s the most important, I think. Why put up with someone else telling you what to do? I’d never go back to working in a shop.”

“You’re right.” He sighed. “Okay, can you give me a bag for this silver toast-rack? I must be off. See you next week.”

But Mike didn’t come to the market the following week, not the week after, and Marianne, who’d put aside an art deco table lamp complete with the original coloured glass shade, regretfully sold it to another collector. Mike was probably saving for Julie’s stainless steel coffee maker.

***

“Miscellaneous old bric- a- brac for sale. Reasonable prices for quick sale. Call 17 Tooronga Crescent.”

Marianne held the advertisement in her hand as she knocked on the door of Number 17, wondering what ‘reasonable prices’ meant. She hoped she’d find something here as she was getting low on stock., but the house looked frighteningly smart and the stuff would probably be too expensive.

A sleek haired blond woman opened the door and looked at her coolly.

“I’ve come about the bric-a-brac,” said Marianne.

“It’s in here.” Her heels clicked across the highly polished floor as she led the way through the smart modern rooms to a small, crowded study.

It was an Aladdin’s cave of collectable treasures and Marianne wanted everything she saw. Antique pistols, flowered china jugs, a beautiful silk rug with a delicate pattern of lotus blossom and dragons, a canteen of silver cutlery lined with worn gold velvet, a gleaming rosewood box, a carved fire screen with a small crack across the top…Marianne gasped in recognition. .

This must be Julie. The fiancée who wasn’t fussy and liked everything Mike bought.

“A lot of junk, isn’t it,’ said Julie. “I can’t stand old tat like this, so make me an offer for the lot.”

Marianne found her voice with difficulty.

“Where does it come from? Is it yours?”

“Don’t make me laugh. No, it was my ex-fiancé’s. He was a compulsive junk collector. Then when I tried to improve his taste he just packed his bags and took off. Walked out on a good job too, without giving notice. Well, I’m certainly better off without him.”

Marianne made a small non- committal noise of sympathy. ‘Ex-fiance’ had a nice ring to it.

“He didn’t fit into Daddy’s company at all. Mummy always said we were like chalk and cheese and she was right. Anyway, I warned him that if he didn’t take the rest of his stuff within a week, I’d get rid of it.”

Julie asked a laughably low amount for everything and Marianne decided instantly. There goes my rent, she thought ruefully.

“I’ll take it all,” she said, “Can I give you a deposit now and collect it tomorrow? I’ll have to borrow a van.”

“Sure.”

The following Friday as Marianne was setting things out on her table, Mike came round the corner, almost running. She hardly recognized him in jeans and an old sweater. Much better, she thought approvingly.

“It was you, wasn’t it?” he asked, “Julie said a girl with a crazy hat took everything. Please say it was you!”

“Of course it was me,” she said calmly. “I couldn’t let someone else buy your lovely things. They’re all at my flat.”

He gave her a hug which lifted her off her feet and spun her round, laughing with relief.

“You’re terrific, you know that? I could kiss you.”

Which he proceeded to do, most satisfyingly.

When she stepped back, Marianne said, “I gather Julie was a bit more fussy than you thought?”

He grimaced.

“I knew she didn’t really appreciate antiques, and like an idiot I kept hoping I could change her mind. But that wasn’t all that was wrong between us- we couldn’t agree on anything. Then she suddenly told me to choose between what she called my old junk, and her.”

“So you chose your old junk?”

“No, I chose a beautiful old silk rug, an Edwardian screen and a Victorian jewellery box, among other things!”

“Very sensible,” she said.

He grinned down at her tenderly. “I love your cheerful hat. A new one, isn’t it?”

She touched her enormous beret with a big pom- pom.

“I got it at the thrift shop. Isn’t it terrific? Couldn’t resist the purple and orange together. I like your jeans and sweater, too. A great improvement.”

“I’m never going to wear a suit to work again. I’ve been taking your advice and arranging things so that I can do what I really want to.”

“And that is?”

“I’ve taken a lease on an empty shop round the corner,” he said. “I want to make it the most interesting place in town, with big comfy chairs where people can sit and read the books I’m going to sell. And I’ll have a little coffee corner and grind my own beans so people won’t be able to resist buying a great big mug of the stuff. “

“That sound fabulous, Mike.” Marianne’s mind leapt ahead. “And you could have authors coming and signing their books, and you could sell paintings as well, and..”

“And I was picturing an antique section in one corner,” he said. “There’s plenty of room for a few trestle tables with some small well chosen things. It would need a person with experience to run that. What do you think?”

Her heart leapt but she looked at him thoughtfully.

“It might be a lot warmer in winter, I suppose. But I’ve always said I’d never work for anyone again. I don’t know, Mike.”

“I was thinking more of a partnership.”

A partnership with Mike. That sounded pretty good.

“Okay,” she said. “That could work. ‘Proprietors McLeod and Evans? Or ‘ Evans and McLeod?’”

“Or McLeod and McLeod. What do you say?”

He was hugging her to him so hard she could hardly breathe but being in his arms felt absolutely right. Her voice was muffled.

“I’ll think about it.”

But Marianne knew she wouldn’t have to think too hard.


Mommy’s Boy

April 14, 2007

Randal shifted his great bulk from one haunch to the other and took another suck on his beer can. The little campstool was digging uncomfortably into his bulky thighs, adding to the irritation of the whining mosquitoes and the oppressive heat of the bushveld.

“Hot, isn’t it?” Martin took a sip of his iced gin and tonic.

Randal glared across the campfire at his son, immaculate in well-cut khaki shorts and designer tee shirt. Only a poofter like Martin would dress well for the bush.

He gritted his teeth. Two nights in the company of this miserable excuse for a son was about all he could take and Randal felt his blood pressure rising just thinking about the money he’d wasted on this weekend.

By day, Martin had avoided conversation with his father by walking around with headphones clamped to his ears. Listening to classical music, if you please, amongst the thorn trees.

At night, instead of enjoying a few beers and talking about the animals his father had so nearly managed to shoot, Martin had chosen to read his ridiculous esoteric books about the soul and the power of the mind.

Father and son bonding- what a laugh! For the last twenty years they’d had nothing to say to each other and two days spent tramping silently through the bush in search of a non-existent lion wasn’t going to change a thing. Frankly, he’d been surprised when Martin had suggested this weekend of togetherness and had only agreed when his wife begged him to give it a try.

“He’s our only child, dear,” she said, looking at him with those pathetic spaniel eyes of hers. “If anything should happen to you, it would terrible if you were still at odds with each other.”

“By happen, you mean if my heart should happen to give out and I should happen to die,” said Randal curtly. “Leaving you a very rich widow. Don’t worry, I have no intention of giving you or that long drink of water you call your son that satisfaction. Dr Abrahams says I’m good for another twenty years if I remember those pills.”

“Martin’s got so many wonderful qualities,” said his wife quietly. “If only you’d give him a chance. He’s the kindest and most perceptive person I know and everyone thinks he’s clever, and amusing. He’s well read, he goes to concerts and plays, and he has lots of friends. Why can’t you try and like him? He’s your son, even if you don’t agree with everything he does.”

Randal looked at Martin, fiddling with a piece of rope, teasing the ends and plaiting them in a complicated pattern. Bloody hairdresser. He should have sent him to the army to knock some sense into him. Now it was too late – he had a son who earned his living arranging mannequins in a department store and spent his spare time dressing up and prancing about on the stage with some damn fool amateur dramatics. Probably just went along for the make-up and fancy dress.

Randal crushed his beer can in frustration and hurled it into the shadows beyond the fire.

Martin rose gracefully and retrieved it, smiling apologetically at his father.

“Got to keep the camp clean,” he murmured, and put it in the bin.

“I’m turning in,” growled Randal abruptly. “We’re making an early start.”

He washed perfunctorily in the little enamel basin and swallowed his heart tablets, taking care that Martin didn’t see. The fact that this traitorous organ threatened to let him down while he was still in the prime of life was no concern of his son.

But heart or no heart, he was always on top of things, king of the heap. Amalgamating with Thompson’s was a brilliant move and he couldn’t wait to get back to town to conclude the deal.

He settled himself on the canvas stretcher and, ignoring the spectacular panoply of stars in the African night sky, he fell asleep before Martin had finished his drink.

“Dad. Dad.” Martin’s voice in his ear was low and insistent. “Wake up but don’t move. Keep absolutely still.”

“Huh?” Randal tried to sit up but Martin held him down with surprising strength.

“A snake’s just disappeared under your blanket. It must be lying next to you somewhere.”

Randal’s mouth went dry. A snake. He hated snakes.

“What kind of snake?” A treacherous tremor in his voice. Probably a mole snake, nothing to be worried about.

“It’s kind of bright yellow. About three feet long.

A Cape Cobra. Just about the most poisonous snake in Africa.

He turned his head very slowly and looked at Martin, shocked. “Do something.”

“What do you suggest? I can’t just whip off the blanket and hit it with my shoe. It might bite me. Or you. Just lie perfectly still and wait for it to go away.”

Martin sounded unnaturally calm. Stupid fool probably didn’t realise the seriousness of the situation.

Both men stared at the grey blanket covering Randal. .

“Can you feel it?” whispered Martin. “I can’t see the tail any longer. It must have settled against your body.”

Randal flexed his leg muscles and felt something move slightly. Something rough and dry.

“Yes,” he mouthed. “It’s up near my groin. Dear God, one bite and I’m a dead man.”

“Don’t be silly Dad, the thing isn’t a man eater. It will go away in its own good time.”

“You know absolutely nothing, about snakes or anything else. You’re useless. Why didn’t you stop the snake when you saw it?”

Martin stared at him wordlessly, then gently lifting the corner of the blanket at the end of the stretcher, he peered underneath.

“STOP THAT!” hissed Randal, lying rigid. “Do you want the damn thing to bite me?”

The snake seemed to move upwards in protest and stopped with its head resting on Randal’s stomach.

His breath was coming in short gasps and he felt his chest tighten ominously, as it had before his first attack.

Take it easy, he told himself. Deep breaths. Relax. The snake slid ever so slightly forward under his vest.

“I could wake old Moses,” suggested Martin. “He’s got a gun.” The tracker was sleeping under a tree some distance from their camp.

“And have him shoot me in the stomach? Don’t be more of an idiot than you can help.”

Never had a sensible idea in his life, that boy.

Prickly sweat was pouring down Randal’s face and blurring his vision. He desperately wanted to wipe his eyes but dared not move and his tongue had swollen to a lump of dry wadding in his mouth. He whispered with difficulty, “Water.”

Martin rose quickly and filled a cup from the bucket. He supported his father’s head and Randal gulped noisily, the water spilling out the sides of his mouth. As he did so he felt the reptile move again. Must be longer than three feet, he thought, trying to remember what sort of venom a cobra produced.

If only he’d packed a snakebite outfit. Would it be a slow death as his muscles gradually stiffened or would he die within minutes, writhing in agony and foaming at the mouth?

He had a sudden, clear picture of Martin at six years, wetting himself as he cowered in terror waiting for his father’s thick leather belt to descend. He felt a momentary shame at his past behaviour then realised with horror that hot liquid was running down his own leg. I’ve pissed myself, he thought, humiliated.

Randal could hear his heart pounding and his throat started to close, every breath an almighty effort. He wanted to sit up and throw back his chest to let in some air, but he knew if he did that the cobra would sink its fangs into his chest .

Hot, agonising flashes lasered up his neck into his jaw.

“My pills,” he tried to say, but a strangulated groan was all he could manage.

“Keep still, Dad.” Martin took his father’s hand in his own. “Just wait it out. Don’t panic.”

The snake moved again and Randal felt an almighty, paralysing pain explode in his chest, blotting out the pale face above him and sending him spiralling into darkness.

Martin released the lifeless hand and stared at the body of his father. That’s done, he exulted silently, unable to keep from smiling. He felt inordinately light and free, and the frivolous thought struck him that the past hour or so would make a pretty good one – act play for the Spotlight Drama Group. His three years of weekly acting classes had really paid off and perhaps it was time to try his hand at writing a short play. He’d call it The Power of Thought. Or maybe Mind Games.

Before he switched on his mobile to phone his mother with the news of mission accomplished, Martin remembered to pull out the long piece of rope from under the blanket. Useful stuff, rope.


The Carpet King

April 14, 2007

The first we saw of the Carpet King was a cloud of dust coming along the road to the farm. My mother was sitting on the stoep, picking stones out of the dried beans in a big enamel bowl on her lap.

“That’s not the Extension Officer,” she said, screwing up her eyes at the shimmering heat haze. “Hansie’s not due until next month. I wonder if it’s the Tax.”

The Tax was a constant dread in our lives, arriving unannounced and demanding a head count of stock and a check on farm equipment. But we’d have known if he was on his way, because he had to pass through Kobus Potgieter’s farm to reach ours, and Mrs Potgieter would have rung my mother on the partyline and warned her.

We watched the cloud of dust stop five times, lurch forward, stop, then carry on as the driver opened and closed the camp gates. My dad sometimes talked of getting stock grids but had never bothered with the expense, as he always had Lang Jan on the back of his truck to jump down and deal with the gates.

Finally a small red pick-up emerged from the swirl of white dust and jerked to a stop in front of us. A dapper, neat little man emerged, smiling with his back teeth showing. Like a jackal, I thought.

“A very good afternoon to you, ladies.”

He bounded uninvited up the steps and took my mother’s hand in his.

‘Charles Andrews, the Carpet King, at your service, ma’am.”

“Margriet le Roux.”

“Mrs le Roux. I’m privileged to meet you. And your delightful little- er- daughter.”

I was already self-conscious about the haircut Ma had given me and that fatal hesitation slammed the door on any future relationship between me and Charles Andrews. Even if he hadn’t been English.

But in the face of his charm, my mother stood up clumsily, handing me the bowl of dried beans.

“Mr le Roux is out in the camps with the fencing. Would Meneer like some coffee while he waits?”

“Ah, Mrs le Roux, that would be too kind, too kind. I thank you. But in truth, it is your good self I have come to visit.”

“Me?” My mother wiped her hands on her apron uncertainly.

I’d never heard anyone speak like he did, using so many words to say so little.

“Indeed yes. It is always the lady of the house who decides on the beautiful things with which to adorn her domain, is that not so? I have come to show you the most wonderful, but also the most practical floor coverings you will see in the whole of Africa. I doubt that when you travel to Europe or the Americas, you will ever lay eyes upon carpets as magnificent as these I have brought here for you.”

I knew for a fact that my mother had no plans to travel further than Cape Town. When my parents had married in Brandvlei they had set off towards the Cape on honeymoon, but my dad’s truck had blown a tyre outside Tontelbos and they never got further than the Commercial Hotel there. She often talked wistfully of a holiday in the Cape one day. When things improved.

“I don’t think we want any carpets just now,” she said.

But the ‘I think’ gave him encouragement.

“If you’ll only allow me five minutes of your precious time, Mrs le Roux, it would be my pleasure to show you a few samples of these magnificent carpets. Each one a hand- knotted masterpiece. I would be happy for you just to feast your eyes. With no obligation on your part of course. Looking will cost you nothing. Not a penny.”

He hurried back to his pick-up and started to lift off the carpets, wrapped in plastic against the dust.

“Get the coffee, Grietjie,” said my mother. “And bring the rusks also. On the blue plate.”

I could see she was impressed by this rooinek from the city, with his three- piece suit and his black shoes so shiny they looked like wet plastic. When I came back through the screen door carrying coffee, two of the carpets were already spread out on the stoep.

I nearly dropped the tray, they were so beautiful.

Brilliant reds, blues, purples, greens and gold woven together in a complicated pattern of birds and flowers and mysterious shapes. They had an exotic smell of spices and far away places.

“These are Persian carpets, Grietjie,” murmured my mother, “They make them in the desert. Up there where the Bible comes from.”

Charles Andrews said nothing. He stood to one side, smiling slightly and allowed his carpets to speak to my mother in their foreign accents, to woo her with their fantastic patterns and tempt her with their shameless, vivid colours.

She was entranced. She walked slowly around them, her eyes never leaving the gorgeous designs.

Then she bit her lip and said quietly, “I will have to ask Mr le Roux.”

I knew what my dad would say. He was the biggest farmer in the district, running 8000 angora goats on the 70,000 morgen of dry, unforgiving land in the Kamiesberg but it had been three years since we’d seen any rain. The last wool cheque had been so small that he’d twice had to go to ask Mr Venter at the bank for a loan.

My dad would say no thank you, we’ve got a carpet already.

And he would watch Charles Andrews roll up his carpets and load them back onto his pick- up and he’d wait until he had opened the fifth and furthest gate, then he’d turn around to us and laugh and say,

“These blerrie rooineks! Think they can sell us all their rubbish!”

And that would be the end of it.

But to my surprise, when my dad came back to the house, he introduced himself and shook hands with the Carpet King, and listened without any expression while the salesman went through his speech once again. I could see my mother looking at him tensely, willing him to fall in love with the carpets as she had. Not both of course, but maybe one.

Charles Andrews started telling him what a good investment they were, how intricately they were knotted by expert fingers in far-off lands and how they would turn our house into a palace, but my dad interrupted him.

“Very pretty. Now I’ve got to check some stock in the bottom camp. So I’ll say goodbye.”

“Oh.. perhaps I could accompany you on your inspection? You have such a magnificent homestead here, such an enormous property. I would deem it a privilege to see something of it.”

“You want to see the goats? Come along then. You come too, Grietjie,” he grunted, and I caught a gleam of some devilment in his eye.

Charles Andrews hurried along trying to keep up with my dad, his shiny shoes getting smeared with dust, I was happy to see. He never stopped talking in that high, excited English voice of his, on an on, about how wonderful the farm was, what a sense of space he had just looking towards the horizon, how lovely the silence was, how picturesque the white goats were.

What excited him most was the fact that my great- grandfather Adriaan le Roux had trekked to this part of the Kamiesberg in 1863 and started farming with his wife and five sons. Our family had been living on Kareebosvlei for three generations- four, if you counted me.

“Ah, what a sense of history. What deep and solid family roots you have struck, a fortunate man indeed. To know ourselves we must know our history, isn’t that so?”

I thought, if he had to live here he’d soon get tired of all this space with nothing on it except goats and stones and he’d certainly hate the silence because it meant there was no one else to talk to for fifty miles in any direction.

My dad just grunted. I could tell he thought this rooinek was a simpleton who’d probably never done a real day’s work in his life..

On the way back to the house, my dad took him into the barn to show him the tractor, its metal seat worn shiny with the backsides of le Rouxs who had planted hopefully every year and waited for the rains to come.

“This was my father’s and it’s still going strong,” he said, smacking its green mudguard affectionately. “You can’t beat those old Massey-Fergusons”

He gave a nostalgic sigh and looked around the dim interior of the barn. I knew he was up to something.

The Carpet King didn’t take much notice of the tractor, but his busy little eyes lit upon an old wooden box in the corner. Lang Jan had used it for storing his family’s clothes until my dad gave him an old cupboard from the house.

“That looks like a good strong box,” he said, a bit too casually. “I could find a use for a box like that. Do you keep it for any special purpose?”

The cheek of the man! I expected my dad to tell him off, but he said mildly, “Not really.”

“If you’re not using it, perhaps you’d like to sell it to me?”

“That box? No man, I couldn’t sell that,” said my dad, shaking his head. “That box trekked on the ox wagons with my great- grandfather over the Hantam Mountains in 1860. That wa-kis has got a lot of history. No, I couldn’t ever part with that box.”

“Really?”

He tried hard to sound unimpressed but I could see crazy Charles Andrews was dying to possess that wooden box. I had to hide my mouth with my hand so he couldn’t see me laughing at him. That dirty old thing had been in Lang Jan’s smoky hut for years and before that, lying behind the feed shed.

“That’s a pity. It would just fit nicely onto my pick-up and be very handy. What would you say to fifty rand?”

I nearly choked. Fifty rand for that piece of junk!

“No, I couldn’t,” said my dad, shaking his head emphatically. “It wouldn’t be right. I have to honour my great- grandfather and keep it in the family. Look, he carved his name on the front. A. le Roux 1860”

“A hundred rand?”

“That’s a very well made box, you know. You won’t find a single nail in the making of it.”

Charles Andrews finally got it for two hundred rands, cash, which he pulled from his pocket and handed over with a pleased little smile.

My dad managed to keep a straight face the whole time but when the carpet salesman walked briskly back to the house to fetch his pick-up, he broke out into a triumphant grin.

“ I got him there,” he said smugly. “More money than sense, these people from Johannesburg.”

“Why do you think he likes it so much?”

“Who knows with these English. They’re all mad. Perhaps he thinks it’s full of treasure.” We sniggered together, happy at my dad’s cleverness.

“So now are you going to buy one of his carpets, Pa?”

“What for? We’ve got a carpet. What would we do with another one?”

The Carpet King loaded the old wa-kis on his pick- up and we drove back together to the house, packed tightly in the front cab. I sat between them, my dad with his familiar smell of goat and tobacco and the Englishman smelling of some sort of perfume. I’d never met a man who used aftershave, and I sat very still, savouring the spicy smell. It didn’t make me like him any better though.

Strangely, he didn’t mention selling his carpets again. My mother was busy inside the house and he simply rolled them up and slipped them into their plastic covers. Then he turned to my dad.

“I wonder if I might prevail upon you for a small favour?”

That was how he talked. He couldn’t just ask us, he had to prevail upon us.

“Now that I’ve put that box on board, there really isn’t room for these two carpets. I wonder if I could ask you good people to store them for me for a week or two until such time as I return to collect them?”

“ Yes, we can do that. LANG JAN!”

Charles Andrews looked startled at this sudden roar but Lang Jan came scuttling from behind the house and waited for instructions.

“Put them up in the roof with the coffins, quick- quick,” ordered my dad.

“Ja my baas.”

Charles Andrews was about to get into his pick-up when he thought of something else.

“I say – I wonder if you could do one more little thing for me?”

“Yes?” The two hundred rand had bought a certain amount of goodwill from my dad, but not too much.

“It’s just that my – er – principals in Johannesburg will want to know what I have done with the carpets. I wonder if you could kindly sign a paper saying you are storing them for me? This would account for their temporary absence and the fact that I haven’t- er-exchanged them for coin of the realm, as it were.”

My father was baffled. “He means money, Pa,” I whispered.

“It’s just paperwork to keep the office fellows happy.”

As he was speaking, he had pulled out a little book and was hastily writing something.

“Here, if you could just sign this. I’ve said here ‘This is to confirm that I am storing carpets for Charles Andrews until the end of the month of January.’ See?”

My dad shrugged and signed his name.

“They’re a careful lot in Johannesburg, eh?”

“Oh yes, well these are extremely valuable Persian carpets, works of art, absolutely irreplaceable.” He handed my dad the carbon copy and he stuffed it in his pocket.

“You’ll be back to fetch them at the end of the month?”

“Yes, the first week in February at the latest.”

He didn’t come back.

February came and went. March came and went.

We forgot about the Carpet King and life on the farm went on.

The cattle came down with miltsiek. The borehole nearest the house dried up for the first time and my dad had to haul water in ninety gallon drums from the windmill dam five miles down the road. Lang Jan chopped off the top of his finger while cutting a swaarthaak for firewood and my mother dipped it in pakbos juice and wrapped it up in an old kitchen cloth. Doctors were only for the emergencies my mother couldn’t deal with.

In April, we went into town. It was a three hour drive to Kamieskroon and my mother took her knitting and I sat in the back of the truck with Lang Jan and listened to his stories. He was a Baster from Namaqualand and had an inexhaustible supply of old folk tales, which he delighted in telling me. This one involved wily Jackal and poor stupid Baboon in a long complicated adventure stealing honey from a beehive, and of course cunning old Jackal outwitted his old enemy once again. Lang Jan cackled with laughter as he acted out the plot, his hooded eyes disappearing into his wrinkled yellow face.

“Why does Jackal always win?” I complained. “Sometimes poor old Baboon should get the better of him.”

I thought of Charles Andrews and his shiny jackal teeth, and remembered with satisfaction how my dad had had got him with that dirty old box.

“Jackal too clever. Jackal sharper than any other animal, he always be the winner.”

Not always, I thought smugly.

I loved going to town. It was always the same: first to the bank to talk to Mr Venter. Then the co-op for bags of feed and my mother’s kitchen list: fifty pound sacks of sugar and flour, packets of coffee and tea, cans of paraffin for the lamps. Then tractor spares from the service station and finally, to the café for an ice cream. On the way home out of Town we collected the mail from our post box.

For the return journey I squashed into the front cab and we shared a ritual packet of chocolate peanuts, my mother’s favourites. She opened the post as dad drove, commenting on each one.

“A letter from Auntie Dolly. She says Hannah’s having another baby, that will be her fourth. Mm, that’s a bit quick. A circular from Mostert Brothers, I see there’s a sale in execution at old Brand’s place next week.”

“Nothing we need from him,” grunted my dad. But he’d been looking black ever since his visit to the bank and I knew there wouldn’t be any money for going to a farm auction, one of the social highlights for the local farming families who brought their lunch and made a day of it. She tore open the next envelope.

“That’s funny, here’s an account. For nine thousand rands!” My mothers voice rose to a squeak of amazement.

“Oh well, it’s been put into the wrong box. This must be for the le Rouxs over at Stilfontein. I’ll phone Gerrie and tell him.”

She put it to one side and I leaned over and picked it up.

It was clearly addressed to Fanie le Roux, Kareebosvlei, PO Kamieskroon and it was from the Majestic Carpet Company in Johannesburg.

All the way home my father railed against this account. How silly the office people in Johannesburg must be to make such a mistake. How careless of Charles Andrews not to return for these valuable carpets. He had half a mind to charge him for storage when he finally came. Man! nine thousand rands. Who would ever pay that for a couple of carpets?

“But they were very beautiful,” said my mother softly.

The following month when we went to Town my dad went armed with a letter my mother had written to the Majestic Carpet Company, explaining their mistake. He dropped it angrily through the letter box and then went to collect our mail. On top of the pile there was an envelope addressed in red ink with DEBTOR: FINAL REMINDER!! printed across the top. He handed it grimly to my mother. My dad never had his reading glasses on him.

It was one thing being in debt to the Bank, that was normal, but he’d never owed anyone else a cent. Cash or nothing was the way we lived and there’d been mostly nothing for a long time.

The letter accompanying the account was printed in the same vicious, bright red with exclamation marks at the end of every sentence. My mother’s voice quavered as she read it aloud.

“I should have known that blerrie rooinek was a fool,” exploded my father. “We must phone these people and tell them to come and collect his carpets. This is too much.”

“Dad, what about that bit of paper he gave you? Have you still got it?”

He rummaged in the depths of his jacket pocket and handed it to my mother, water stained and flecked with shredded tobacco.

“What’s this?”

“He asked me to sign this to say we’d look after his carpets for a few weeks.”

“You mean we’ve had them all this time?”

“Ja, well, I put them up with the coffins in the shed. They’re safe enough.”

My mother read the scrawled words and sat very still.

“Fanie, it says here, ‘I promise to pay nine thousand rand for two Mehrabi carpets 3 metre by 4 metre and agree to make three monthly payments of three thousand rand over the period February- April.’ And you’ve signed it, Fanie.”

She ended in a whisper of disbelieve. “You signed it.”

The trip back to the farm was three hours of total silence. The folly of my dad putting his hand to something without reading it, and the enormity of this debt, seemed to crush all conversation and I knew better than to ask what we’d do.

After supper I went miserably to bed and heard a low angry murmur from their room which lasted until I drifted off uneasily. A nightmare about a shiny coated jackal tearing the angora kids with his teeth woke me and I went through to my parents bedroom, sobbing.

“Don’t worry, skattie, everything’s alright.” My dad snuggled me in between them and I fell asleep again. Of course he would make everything alright.

It took him four years. Half the wool cheque for the next three years, and then a sale of some heifers finally put a stop to those red letters arriving every month. I’ll never know what we went without to make those payments but I had turned fourteen before my mother was able to buy me a dress from the co-op, new, just for myself. When you’re young, you don’t miss what you’ve never had, really, and of course there wasn’t a TV to tell me what I should want. I suppose I thought every mother re-cut her own clothes to fit her daughter.

Whenever I remembered the carpets, I raged silently for the sake of my dad, so soundly tricked by that smooth- talking rooinek with his shiny shoes and gleaming teeth. .

Getting the best of a deal made fair and square was one thing, but cheating my father so shamelessly was unforgivable. It only confirmed what we le Rouxs had known all our lives. You couldn’t trust anyone from Johannesburg and especially not if they spoke English

But the fact remained, those carpets were beautiful and they were up there in our roof. When I asked my mother why we didn’t use them, seeing as how they were ours, or nearly, she snorted and said, “Throw nine thousand rands down on the floor to walk over? I’ve got more brains than that, my girl.”

She spoke as if she hated those carpets and we never mentioned them again.

Years later, I was sitting in the hairdresser in Vredenburg, looking through one of those glossy designer magazines they give you while they bake your head, when I saw my great- grandfather’s old box. It was in some smart sitting room in the Cape, cleaned up, with the mellow wood polished to a gleaming gold. The owner was touching it with her fingertips, smiling down at it.

“Mrs Thornton’s favourite piece is this antique yellowwood wa-kis, which belonged to her great-grandfather, one of the original trekkers. Today this lovely heirloom is valued at R5000”

I could clearly see A. le Roux carved into the front of it. How on earth had this Mrs Thornton got hold of it? And how dare this Englishwoman claim my great- grandfather as her own! My mouth went dry and my hands shook with fury, not wanting to believe the value of the box.

Charles Andrews. He must have sold it to her.

My dad had been so pleased with himself, outwitting the Englishman, but in the end, that smiling jackal had won.

My mother died, and my dad tried to carry on by himself. I visited him as often as I could but he was lonely, and tired of the struggle to keep the farm going.

The endless droughts and goat diseases had brought Kareebosvlei to the end of the road. The bank held the papers on the farm and had long ago refused to advance him any more money. The generator which gave the house sporadic electricity had been broken for over a year so he was back to using candle light and could no longer listen to the farmer’s news at five in the morning.

When Lang Jan died as a result of a scorpion bite that was the final blow. One of the pine coffins which, as a young farm hand, he had helped to make, was brought down from the store room roof and Kobus Potgieter and my dad buried him in the stony ground behind his hut.

My husband and I persuaded the old man to sell up the farm and move to a retirement home in Upington to be near us. I think if I’d had any sons he might have hung on, waiting for one of them to take over and try his luck on the land, even if his name wasn’t le Roux. But I had three girls, and he was slowly going blind.

On the day of the sale, I went back to the farm for the last time. My dad sat on the stoep, drinking coffee, his milky grey eyes looking towards the Hantam Mountains. He was going to find retirement in Upington very hard.

As keepsakes for my own daughters, I put aside my mother’s embroidered pictures, her candlewicked cushion covers and the patchwork bedspread I’d had on my bed twenty years before. Then I organised Lang Jan’s widow and daughter to make tea for the two hundred or so neighbours who would be at the sale, and wandered outside to have a look at the angora kids. The farm implements stood ready outside the barn and the stock had been brought up to pens behind the house.

Liempie Mostert, old Mostert’s son, came running up, red with excitement.

“Grietjie, we have found the most magnificent carpets up in the roof!”

“Oh, those,” I said, “Yes, I remember them.”

“Listen girlie, those carpets are worth a lot. More than all this stuff put together, I wouldn’t wonder. They’re Persian, you know. The real thing, not from Pakistan.”

I thought of the riot of colours and the foreign smell of them. I remembered how much my mother had wanted them, and all the misery they had cost us.

“So, sell them.” I said indifferently.

“They won’t fetch what they should, you know. These weren’t advertised. I didn’t even know they were up there until just now.”

“Sell them anyway.”

Liempie needn’t have worried. Farmers had come up from as far as Citrusdal for the sale, wealthy wine farmers and citrus growers who wanted to cash in on the new fashion for mohair goat wool. Some of them recognized what they were looking at, and the bidding closed at a two hundred and forty thousand rands. For each carpet.

When Liempie told him, my dad smiled broadly and took my hand.

“That’s shown that rooinek, eh, skattie? Thought he was dealing with a pack of baboons, didn’t he?”

“You got the better of him in the end, dad.”

“And that old box of your grandfather’s, got him there too, didn’t I?”

I went inside to make the tea.